


Déjà Vécu

by bmcbapej



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Other, Pitch Perfect 2 but more gay, Time Travel, brotp bemily
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 06:05:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13630212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bmcbapej/pseuds/bmcbapej
Summary: It had been happening for as long as Beca could remember. She’s old enough now to know that it’s not exactly normal, but there really wasn’t anything she could do about it. It’s not like it affected anyone else anyway.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a Triple Treble story that I've had the first few chapters of sitting on my old laptop for a while (it was originally hosted on another site which I stopped using because I found it hard to work with). I actually started it before all the other pieces I've published on this site and have been meaning to continue it for a while now. I had a couple issues with the formatting (and a couple words went missing?!) when I was getting it ready on this site so let me know if something looks/sounds weird

Beca doesn't really know when it all began, if such things even have beginnings. For as long as she could remember (and probably even before then) time would sometimes jump. One moment she would be in her fifth period history class and the next she would be back in her second period biology lesson listening to the same boring explanation of meiosis and mitosis. From then on, the day would play out exactly the same way - at least if she wasn't doing anything differently.

She could find no rhyme or reason for these time skips. They could be as short as a few seconds or as lengthy as a few days. Sometimes it would happen multiple times a day, sometimes it wouldn't happen for months. There were no triggers, no warnings and no indications from anyone else that she wasn't the only one who knew what was happening.

There seemed to be some rules though (or at least, things that hadn't happened yet). The jumps were backwards, never forwards, which was why she sometimes liked to call them 'rewinds'. They never seemed to overlap, so if something was happening again she could be sure that it was definitely going to stay that way. Probably most importantly, rewinds would reset her body physically but not mentally. Nothing was worse than rewinding right back to the moment she woke up because she would just spend the rest of that day on auto-pilot.

Time travel wasn't as cool as people probably thought it was though. Sure, sometimes it came in handy. Like the time she knew she was going to be hit by a skateboarder if she didn't move further to the left, or the times where she would find herself getting another shot at not waking her mum up when sneaking back into the house at 5am. That didn't stop it from being inconvenient though. After all, what's the point of having a superpower if you couldn't even control it? Having to do the same thing all over again wasn't exactly her idea of fun. It turns out saving files (stupid 2000-word Philosophy essays included) didn't mean much if you did it in the future.

Beca knows that some things won't and can't be changed though. Rewinding didn't make the bullies in junior high any less mean, it didn't stop the Bellas from placing third at regionals her freshman year (though her additions to the set the second time around did garner them more points), and it most definitely didn't bring her dad back when he left that Christmas morning. She's gotten good at knowing when to let things run their course and when to try something new. So imagine her surprise the first time things go in an entirely different direction – without her interference.


	2. Riff-On, Riff-Off

_HERE WE GO, YO_   
_HERE WE GO, YO_   
_SO WHAT'S, SO WHAT'S, SO WHAT'S THE SCENARIO?_

It's been a while since the last time the Bellas had competed in a riff-off but Beca thought their sound was coming together very well tonight. A lot better than the barely touched Worlds' set-list that was for sure.

_INSANE IN DA MEMBRANE_   
_INSANE IN DA BRAIN!_   
_INSANE IN DA MEMBRANE_

Das Sound Machine was amazing though she had to admit. A lot more polished and cohesive than the usual teams they had to compete against.  _The leader kinda reminds me of Aubrey. I wonder how she's doing these days. Wait, don't worry about that now. Focus, you're up next!_ Beca inhaled, standing front and centre, ready to take the next turn as Sir Wallup made a gesture towards her. Only his hand actually didn't stop there, it glided passed her and landed squarely in Emily's direction.

 _I GOT ALL I NEED_  
_WHEN I GOT YOU AND I_  
 _'CAUSE I LOOK AROUND ME_  
 _AND SEE A SWEET LIFE_  
 _I'M STUCK IN THE DARK_  
 _BUT YOU'RE MY FLASHLIGHT_

That was most definitely not a 90's hip hop jam.  _This song's actually pretty good. I wonder what it'd sound like with an extra..._ Beca knew this song was going to get them disqualified but she improvised the first backup vocals that came to mind and sent a silent prayer to the Aca-Gods that Chloe wouldn't react too badly to this.

It turned out Chloe wasn't the only one she should have been praying about because the crowd responded with a lot more animosity than she had expected towards the use of an original song in lieu of a cover.

"This is a cappella!"

"Our jam is covers!"

"I'm sorry guys." mumbled Emily as Das Sound Machine was declared the winner. The tall girl's downtrodden expression reminded her of a kicked puppy. She hoped that would be enough of a signal to the others to go a little easier on her.

As the crowd dissipated, Beca cautiously approached the younger girl, "Did you really write that?". It probably wasn't the best time to ask since the song in question hadn't exactly been well received, but Beca was interested since she had never really written her own lyrics (at least any she would want even remotely connected to herself). Emily tentatively nodded but whatever question she was going to ask was forgotten as soon as Chloe came into view.

"You shouldn't have done that, Emily. Now Das Sound Machine thinks they have the drop on us." Watching the red-head's crazy-eyed expression sent alarm bells off in Beca's mind. Whilst the super-senior had always been very  **intense**  about a capella she usually made sure to not go far enough that feelings would get really hurt.  _Man, I've been spread pretty thin with classes, the internship and that stupid Worlds' set, but Chloe's stress levels are way off the charts. How checked out have I been to not notice it's gotten this bad. Ugh, what kind of best friend am I._

"Sorry, I panicked. I understand if you want me to crawl under a rock and die."

"Hey, we don't want that.", she paused to make a gesture at Chloe who hadn't made any attempt to agree, " **WE** , don't want th-"

* * *

 _INSANE IN DA MEMBRANE_  
_INSANE IN DA BRAIN!  
_ _INSANE IN DA MEMBRANE_

Beca blinked. No matter how many times she rewinded, it was always jarring to jump mid-sentence and it was something that had caused a number of awkward conversations over the years. She tried to position herself in-front of Emily before the transition but didn't get there in time and suppressed a wince as she waited for another rendition of Flashlight. It never came. As the previous song trailed to an end, Beca turned slowly to see the Legacy's mouth silently open and tears in her eyes.  _What the fuck?_

In true Fat Amy fashion, she blurted out, "I know my sexy leaves everyone speechless, but you're supposed to actually make sounds after you open your mouth."

"Back in my country you weren't supposed to make sounds unless you wanted to be shot." muttered Flo.

After a few awkward beats of silence, Sir Willups cleared his throat and announced, "In light of the Bella's inability to keep the music going, I am forced to declare DAS SOUND MACHINE THE WINNERS!"

 _What the aca-fuck?! This isn't how it goes._ Beca turned erratically around the room at the dispersing crowd as if the answer to all her questions was written somewhere on the walls. Catching sight of Chloe marching towards Emily as if on a warpath she decided to shelve her confusion for another time and darted towards them.

Bumping into a familiar blonde on the way she quickly asked, "Hey Ashley can you go cheer Emily up and let her know we don't hate her? Sweet, thanks!"

"I'm Jessica, but sure."

* * *

"Hey Chloe can w-"

"Beca! Have you seen Emily? I need to have some words with her. Hon- "

"Chloe."

"-estly, she couldn't think of ONE 90's hip hop song?! She's a 90's kid for Chr- "

"Chloe."

"-ist's sake. I mean she's a Legacy! A Junk! What kind o-"

"CHLOE!"

"Beca?"

"Are you okay?"

"Am I… am I okay? AM I OKAY? WE JUST LOST A PERFECTLY WINNABLE RIFF-OFF TO THOSE THIEVING LITTLE CONNIV-"

"Chloe." Something in her tone must have given her co-captain pause. Seeing the looks they were getting from those in earshot she grabbed Chloe's hand and dragged the girl to a secluded corner of the room. "Hey umm, you know, this whole Worlds' thing aside. Are you okay? Like really okay. 'Cause Legacy made a mistake and that's probably my fault for not training her enough. Well I didn't know we'd be having a riff-off so soon but still like we probably should have scheduled something like that, I mean if we have time for glow stick juggling you'd think we'd have time for riff-off practice. Anyway, we can talk about that later 'cause I kinda wanna talk about you right now. I mean, I've been pretty busy lately and it's been, like, super shitty of me to not be around more but you'd tell me if something was stressing you out right? Even if it's a little stress and not a big stress. 'Cause sometimes you think something's only a little stressful but then suddenly it turns out it's a lot stressful and you're just puking everywhere so you should just let me know early. 'Cause we're like, friends. You know, Bella sisterhood and all that. Or if you don't want to talk to me, which is totally cool, you could talk to any of the other Bellas cause I know I'm not great with words and shit and please say something before I embarrass myself further."

"That, was really sweet, thanks." Beca looked away, blushing.  _Boy is it hot in here, they should up the air conditioning._  "I guess I have been a bit more focused lately."  _That's one way of putting it_. "It's just… you're gonna think it's silly"

Beca hadn't been aware that she hadn't actually let go of Chloe's hand until now, but she brushed off the warm feeling in her chest as further proof of the basement's terrible ventilation. "Dude, it's not silly if it's affecting you." Meeting Chloe's eyes, she tried to convey as much sincerity as possible. Beca wasn't really an eye contact person, quite frankly it usually creeped her out a lot and she found, given enough time, the act felt a little aggressive but right now she was feeling none of it.  _If eyes really are the window to the soul, what are you thinking Beale?_

Chloe sighed and looked down towards their conjoined hands "It's everyone's last year Becs."

"Not unless we fail." The joke fell flat.

"You know that's not happening. I've seen all your grades and besides my professor says this is the last time I can take Russian Lit so I'm leaving Barden with or without a degree at the end of this year." That was news to her.

"Oh is it the Russian Lit that's stressing you out? I can help you with that. Well not really since I'm pants at any language that isn't English but I could help you study, like hold your flashcards or whatever. Or maybe Stacie could help. I mean I know she does science but she's super smart. Way smarter than me so she would probably know like, the most effective way to retain information or whatever."  _Dear God what is wrong with me. I'm rambling like a snotty-nosed freshman. Totally not cool._ Seeing the small smile on the red-head's face was encouraging but there was something in it that Beca couldn't quite read.

"It's not that, I'm sure I'll pass as long as I actually go to the exam this year. It's just, after this year we're all gonna be gone. Doing real things like working real jobs and paying rent. Out in the real world… away from each other."

"Oh."

"I know it's silly. I've already had 3 years with you guys. The best 3 years of my life! I just, I don't know what I'm gonna do without you. And the Bellas. Without you and the Bellas."

"Hey, hey. Just cause we won't be at the same college anymore doesn't mean we're going to disappear from eachothers' lives. We still see Aubrey when she's in town and I know you guys are always skyping – side note please don't tell her I haven't finished the set yet I really don't think I can handle a patented Posen PowerPoint lecture so soon after the last one." Chloe's giggle seemed to be sign she wasn't completely fucking up this pep talk. "And yeah, we might get a bit busy with life sometimes but I know I can always count on you to keep me from forgetting the outside world when I'm deep in a mix. And even if I forget to feed myself food that has actual vitamins and shit, you should still be able to count on me to like, not forget about you. You're pretty memorable you know."

"You know, for someone who's supposed to be badass rebel you're a pretty big cheese ball."

"Yeah well, don't get used to it 'cause this is a one-time thing." They both knew that was a lie but neither of them really minded.

* * *

Beca was never a big party person. Sure, she would go to them, even do all the obligatory party things such as drink and dance – you couldn't really spend 3 years with the Bellas and avoid it. It doesn't mean she doesn't get tired after a while though. Sometime in between Jesse starting a dance battle and Bumper trying to fight his disqualification from said dance battle, Beca slipped out for some fresh air. She could feel confident leaving the Bellas back there since Lily always made sure everyone came home fine.

Catching sight of Emily sitting on the steps outside she debated whether or not to make her presence known. From the occasional sniffling sounds, she could tell that the girl had been crying. Feelings were never a strong point for Beca. She usually left Chloe to deal with these things but she figured her co-captain had enough on her plate right now. Beca closed the door, taking care to make an audible noise in order to announce her presence and allow the girl some time to compose herself.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"I'm sorry." They both said at exactly the same time.

Emily raised her eyebrows in confusion, "What why are you apologizing. It's all my fault! I lost us the riff-off! I made us look like complete idiots in-front of Das Sound Machine. They probably think they have the drop on us!"

"We already looked like idiots when I complimented Kommissar at the car show. Still have no idea why or how that happened. Anyway, trust me, screwing up is pretty much a defining Bella quality. It was our fault for not training you better. You went in totally unprepared and that's on us, not you. You were doing great backing us up with all the other songs and that's already amazing."

"But I wasn't unprepared!"

"Well yeah they explained the rules but you haven't had any proper experience doing this. It was your first time. I'm sure if you redid it now you'd be able to blow everyone out of the water."

"I-"

"Look I'm not just saying this cause you're the new kid. When it comes to music, I'm not gonna lie. If something sucks I'm not gonna pretend I like it. Just ask the Bellas about the blonde girl who auditioned the same year as Flo. I know I haven't stuck around much outside of rehearsals and I've been neglecting all you guys a bit lately, but from what I've seen, you've got a lot of talent kid. Don't sell yourself short."

"I-. Thanks. That means a lot even if I think you're wrong."

"Emi-"

"Really, if I had another shot I wouldn't be able to do much better. The only thing worse would have been if I had sung my own original song." Honestly Beca doesn't understand why everyone hated original songs. She never actually finished reading the collegiate a capella rulebook Aubrey lent her but she's sure it didn't say anything about only doing covers.  _Wait._  "I mean, we do covers! That's what a capella is about!" 

"Emily…"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever… oh I don't know… thought that someone would want you to crawl under a rock and die?" The way the taller girl's eyes widened wasn't doing anything to calm Beca's suspicions.

"M-Maybe?"

"Well… if there's ever a time you think that about us, just know that we don't want that, okay? We don't want that. Not me, not Chloe, and not any of the other Bellas."

The silence dragged on for a least a minute before Emily whispered, "Beca… do you remember?"


	3. E.T. Phone Home

"Beca… do you remember?" whispered Emily conspiratorially as she leaned forward, staring at Beca unblinkingly.

"There you guys are!" Both brunettes jerked backwards at the sudden interruption. Unfortunately, this resulted in Beca slamming the side of her head into the porch rail. "Beca! Oh my gosh, are you okay?!" With no regard whatsoever to any boundaries, Chloe rushed forward and swept her hair aside in order to get a closer look. Beca's senses short circuited. All she could see was red and all she could smell was strawberry with a hint of alcohol. "Ouch, that's defs going to bruise tomorrow. You need to be more careful with that pretty, little head of yours. On the plus side your hair is really silky today. Did you try that new shampoo I bought last week? I couldn't find it yesterday."

Unable to form a coherent response, Beca simply sat there allowing Chloe to stroke her hair. Emily turned away from her captains, feeling as if she was intruding on something personal.

"What were you two doing out here anyway?"

 _Why is it so hot out here? Must be the porch lights, I guess. What a waste of electricity._  Beca cleared her throat awkwardly and looked up at the night sky. "I was trying to explain that what happened back there wasn't her fault and we didn't blame her."

"Oh totes! I mean of course it aca-sucks that we let Das Sound Machine show us up again but honestly we've never actually won a riff-off. What's important is we're going to crush their asses at Worlds'! This is a last time they're gonna be able to look down on us!" Emily, who had tensed as if bracing herself, relaxed slightly at these words. "Figuratively at least." Beca scowled.

When everything Chloe had said finally registered, Emily tilted her head to the side confusedly and asked, "Wait, the Bellas have never won a riff-off?"

"We would have won my freshman year if the rules weren't completely stupid!" Beca huffed at that particular memory. "But yeah, the year after, Fat Amy assumed the rest of us knew the words to the Australian national anthem. Then the year after that, Stacie accidentally flashed us all and CR lost the beat completely."

"The three years before those were a bigger disaster to be honest. If the topic wasn't pre-00's ladies' chart toppers we were almost certainly disqualified first. Our repertoire definitely wasn't as extensive as it is now. Enough about that, the night is still young - let's party!"

"Uhh, Chlo. If you want me to get up you're gonna have to get me off first." Beca's cheeks reddened when she realised what she had accidentally said. "Wait, wrong. I meant, get  **off me**  first. Because you are on me, so I want you off. So I can move. Because I can't do that right now."

Chloe's grin was stretched so wide Beca was a little worried that it would get stuck that way. "Sure thing, Becs! All you have to do is ask - on both counts." The exaggerated eyebrow wiggle that followed was highly unnecessary in Beca's opinion.

"Shut up. You know I suck at words."

* * *

 _Nggggggh. Oh my head. I did NOT need that last cup of whatever Amy gave me._  Beca could hear her phone vibrating somewhere on her nightstand. The blissful silence that eventually came was short-lived as the sounds of a truck reversing roared from outside.  _Who's making deliveries at this time of day? It's only-_. Beca turned to look at her bedside clock only to come face-to-face with Emily who was sitting cross-legged on the floor.

"ARGH! WHAT THE HELL?"

"Sorry, sorry, sorry!" Emily bowed her head multiple times emphatically.

"What are you doing in my room and why were you watching me sleep?" Beca sat up, clutching her blanket to her chest in an effort to feel less exposed.

"It's just, I really needed to talk to you but you're always so busy after rehearsal, and you come home late, so I don't want to keep you up even longer 'cause you usually look really tired. Then I thought that maybe I should talk to you in the morning before you go to class, but then I didn't want to wake you. But what if I missed you getting up or you decided to go back to sleep because you didn't know I wanted to talk to you. Or you went back to sleep 'cause you knew I wanted to talk to you. Oh, I can leave if you don't want me here. I'm so sorry! I'll just-"

Beca interrupted what looked like the beginnings of a panic attack, "Dude, relax. Breathe." The loud gasps of air that followed sounded anything but relaxed. "It's cool. Well not really, it's actually pretty creepy. Please don't do this ever again. Just ask next time. If I'm busy I'll get back to you when I can."

"Okay, umm, are you busy now?"

 _If this is what I think it's about…_ "It's fine. What did you want to talk about?" Beca removed the blanket from herself and tried to school her expression.

"Last night, at the riff-off. Do you remember what I sang when it was my turn?"

Debating what the right response would be, Beca settled on a neutrally toned "Nothing." Emily lowered her gaze and her shoulders seemed to slump a little. Before the girl could utter what looked to be another apology, Beca quietly added, "But before that, you sang an original song."

Emily's whole being seemed to perk up before getting off the floor and onto the bed. "You remembered. You _remembered_. You **remembered**!" She was now straddling the shorter girl and had her arms on both shoulders. "OH MY STARS, YOU REMEMBERED!"

"Remembered what?" Both girls turned to see Amy entering the room in the same clothes she was wearing the night before, heels in hand. Beca could hear her phone begin to vibrate again but continued to ignore it.

"Did you just come back this morning?"  _Come to think of it, I didn't see you at all after you handed me more drinks right before Bumper- Oh._

"No! Of course not! I've been here the whole time. This is a different outfit. Your uncultured American eyes just can't tell the difference. It's okay, I'll still hang out with you despite your deficiencies. What was it that you remembered? I hope it was protection."

"What?" Taking in the compromising position that they were in, Emily's face imitated a tomato as she moved away and left a conspicuous distance between them. Beca rolled her eyes, used to the cruder comments Amy would make when she was with Chloe.

Knowing that Amy was definitely not going to want to talk to about where she had been and not wanting to continue her conversation with Emily in a public setting, Beca picked up her phone as if nothing had happened. The colour drained from her face as she swiveled her body towards the calendar on the wall.

"Fuck, I'm late!" Rolling off the side of her bed and taking one quick glance in the mirror she scurried out of the room. A second later, she ducked her head back in and said, "We can talk about things later, Emily, I won't forget."

* * *

"I was beginning to think you weren't going to show up." Jesse closed the car door after loading the last box inside. With a satisfied dusting of his hands, he turned and leaned back.

"Yeah, well, better late than never." Taking in the sight of all Jesse's belongings (at least those that didn't need to be loaded into a truck) condensed into boxes inside his GTI, it finally hit home that he was leaving - permanently. "I guess this is it. The big goodbye."

"Bec, don't be sad. We knew this day was coming. I was always going to graduate early and go to film school."

"Still stings. Oh yeah, I got you a going away present." She watched as Jesse unwrapped his gift, "You'll like it. It's about a strange, awkward outsider who leaves home and tries to fit in."

"I've seen E.T." Beca could have sworn this DVD wasn't on one of his shelves. She checked. Twice!

"You have? It came out like a hundred years before we were born. How do you know this stuff?"

"Thank you. I love it. We'll watch it together."

Beca ignored the fact that they wouldn't be able to watch anything together anytime soon. "Really? Both hours?"

"Still not a movie person?"

"Well, take care of yourself."

"Take care of myself?" Jesse gawked at her incredulously. "What are you, my Aunt Dolores?"

"I just mean like don't get hit by a falling meteor or fall asleep holding a lit cigarette."

"No, what you mean is that you think we're not going to make it."

"C'mon, Jess. Let's be real. This is exactly how relationships die. Look, I'm not upset you're pursuing your dream. I think that's great. But it means you're moving to the other side of the country. While I stay here to do my thing. And... We're young. We're growing apart. It's happening." Beca tried not to think about the fact that this conversation was straying very close to one she had just had the night before.

"Uh-uh. It's not going to happen. A couple of time zones could never come between us. So nice try. We'll be together again. I promise. C'mon, we're Jesse and Beca! We're Jessica! Wait, forget I said that last thing."

Beca laughed because she knew it was the only thing that would stop her from tearing up. "Look Jesse. I know I haven't been the best girlfriend."

"Hey now, that's not-"

"It's true. I'm always putting things before you. The Bellas, my internship, classes."

"Beca it's healthy to have things outside of your relationship. I get that."

"All I'm saying is. I won't be angry. I won't be angry if you find someone who's willing to put you first. And you like them. And they like you. And they don't suck..."

"Beca." She refused to meet his eyes. "I- I don't know what's going to happen, but, I won't be angry if you find someone else either." They stood there in silence before a chime sounded from within Jesse's pockets. "I guess I should go. You too. You'll be late if you don't start getting ready now." Beca groaned as she remembered that she was due to help Frank with his YouTube search that afternoon. "Anyway, what did I tell you? Endings are the best part so this must mean it's not the end yet."

* * *

 _Am I supposed to put my name on my food or is that lame._  Beca stared at her burrito as if it would answer back.

"Dax. I swear, if that kid wasn't my nephew…"

Catching sight of Sammy gazing into the office fridge, she cautiously approached him and asked, "Umm, I know you're crazy busy, but have you had a chance to check out those demos?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah I did."  _Fuck._

"This dead air between us is a good sign." The day only went downhill from there.

* * *

"I don't have anything to say. I don't have anything _to say_? I don't have anything to say! Idiot! Idiot! Argh!" Her own car horn sounded as she leaned her head a bit too hard on the steering wheel. Beca knew that she had to start heading home soon if she wanted to get enough sleep before rehearsals tomorrow morning, but she wasn't looking forward to having to explain her mood to Chloe who would probably be waiting up for her. Looking around, her eyes caught sight of an old photo (it was of the Bellas during her freshman year) taped to the dashboard. Cynthia Rose had stuck it there after Beca had gotten herself into a minor fender-bender the week after they had gotten back from Nationals.

_"CR what are you doing to my car." Beca was sitting in the passenger seat since the Bellas had temporarily banned her from getting behind the wheel._

_"I keep a photo of Denise in my wallet so I can see it every time I try to take a bet. This," she gestured to the car's newest addition, "is to remind you of everyone who's gonna whoop your ass the next time you decide to be stupid." Beca snorted quietly but didn't protest. It stayed where it was and the only time it was removed was to add a cut-out of Flo to the bottom of the photo._

Thumbing the edges of the fading photograph Beca had an idea. She fished her phone out of her jacket and brought up her contact list. Hovering her hand over a name she hadn't tapped in a while she decided to take the plunge.

"Hey Aubrey, it's me."


	4. Keep Sucking Until You Don't Anymore

Aubrey was fine. Aubrey was great. Aubrey's life was going amazingly. Aca-amazingly in fact. Profits were up, costs were down, and they had finally found that marketing intern that had gotten lost last week (there were  _signs_  warning everyone to stay on the tracks so that incident was most certainly not her fault). Despite all this, she couldn't stop herself from aggressively cleaning her desk - again. What made this task even more interesting was the fact that there was barely anything on the desk to clean in the first place. The desk was minimal and held just the bare essentials - her laptop, a notepad, two pens (black and red with their nibs facing downwards), and a framed photo of her last performance with the Barden Bellas.

If anyone were to ask her, she would explain that she was  **absolutely not** stressed at all and that an organised desk led to an organised mind. A familiar ringtone broke her out of her reverie. She grabbed her phone from where it was charging on the nightstand and frowned when the caller ID came into view.  _Of course it wouldn't be him._ Aubrey's eyebrows furrowed when the name fully registered in her mind.

"Hello, Aubrey Posen speaking."

"Hey Aubrey, it's me. Are you free right now?"

Putting down the cloth still in her hand, she replied somewhat confusedly, "Yes, I am. Is something wrong?"

"No, no, nothing's wrong. Well, nothing's right either. It's just…" Aubrey resisted the urge to ask the younger girl to just get to the point. She recognised that the sigh on the other end of the line was a lot different from Beca's frequent  _are-we-seriously-going-to-do-this-right-now_ sighs. "It's just, how did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Everything."

"Beca you're going to have to use a few more words here, I can't read your mind."

"How did stay on top of everything in your senior year. The Bellas, the debate team, that winter internship, classes… you graduated with a 4.0 GPA for Christ's sake! How the hell did you do all that?! I can't even do one thing right let alone everything else on my plate right now. I'm a failure!"

Aubrey was too shocked to answer immediately. Whilst she knew that Beca liked to act tougher than she actually was, she has never bore direct witness to her insecurities (that one rehearsal where the pitch pipe was exchanged non-withstanding). Mustering the most encouraging voice she could she responded with, "You, Beca Mitchell, are a lot of things. You're rude, annoying and different. But what you are most certainly not is a failure."

"Aren't I? The Bellas are a disgrace, my music sucks, and I have a 5000 word essay due Friday night."

"Beca, today's Thursday!" Shaking her head after realising that was probably not the point she should be focused on, she continued, "Look, that Kennedy Centre performance was not exactly your crowning moment of glory, I know all about those, but you've done a lot of wonderful things with the girls. The Bellas are 3-time collegiate a cappella champions! The first and only all-female group to ever achieve that. You and I both know that wouldn't have been possible without you. And what's this about your music? If there's only one thing Beca Mitchell knows, it's music. Where on Earth is this even coming from?"

"I showed some demos today to an actual music producer. He basically said it sucked balls. Totally comforting to know as I'm about to enter the next stage of my life." Another sigh. "Maybe I'm just not cut out for this."

Aubrey knew this wasn't the time for platitudes. She always found that tough love was so much easier. "I never thought I'd see the day where you became such a coward."

"Excuse me?"

"One little criticism and you're ready to give up? I didn't hand the Bellas over to you for you to throw everything away at the first sign of adversity. There's always going to be someone who disagrees with you. So what if someone thinks your music 'sucks balls'. You take it on the chin and you get better. You show them what you're truly capable of. You keep 'sucking balls' until you can't 'suck' anymore." Aubrey's cheeks flushed as she realised what she had said.

"Dude."

"That last sentence was not as eloquent as I would have liked but the sentiment still stands."

"That's-. I'm-. Thanks Bree. I mean Aubrey. Thanks Aubrey. Sorry, Chlo calls you that all the time and it just-"

"It's fine, you can call me Bree."

"Cool, you don't have to call me Beca either. Or you can. It's whatever."

Aubrey laughed,  _still as aca-awkward as ever._  "Anyway, to answer your earlier question. I kept on top of my responsibilities through deliberate planning and appropriate delegation. Leading the Bellas wasn't a one-man job, and neither were any of the other responsibilities I had. Also, one very helpful tip, which I can't believe you haven't learnt by now, is to not leave assignments until the day they're due. I trust that essay will be the first thing on your agenda tomorrow?"

"We have rehearsals in the morning."

"The second thing?"

"Of course." Beca paused as if deliberating on what to ask next "So how have you been? I know you don't like to talk about work and stuff but how's everything else."

A pang of guilt ran through her as Aubrey remembered that everyone aside from Chloe still thought she was working at her mother's law firm. "Everything's…fine."

"That sounded really convincing."

"Nothing's wrong, honestly. Everything's just how it usually is."

"Right. Well, if you want to talk to me about it I'm all ears. Or you could talk to Chloe, I know she's been a little stressed lately but I'm sure she'd always be willing to make time for you."

"It's really not a big deal."

"So there is something?"

"What?"

"You said "it's not really a big deal" so that means there is something, it's just not a big something. " Aubrey was admittedly a little impressed by that deduction. "It's cool if you don't want to talk about it, I just don't want you to think I only called you because I was interested in myself. I really do care about how you're feeling."

"My dad's not coming home for Christmas this year." She blurted out before she could stop herself. Wincing a little after remembering the younger girl's rocky relationship with her own father, she continued anyway, "He said he'd come home this time. He says it every year but something came up. Something always comes up."

"Oh."

"I mean," Aubrey made an effort to blink harder since her vision had started to blur at the edges, "he's a busy man. It's selfish of me to want him to put everything on hold just for something as silly as Christmas. But I… I…" she trailed off, not quite sure what she wanted to say.

"Hey, it's cool, I get it. Even if he has something important on, it's a pretty dick move for him to say things he knows he can't follow through on. One time is just bad luck, if it keeps happening then you're allowed to be upset."

"I'm not upset!" Neither really believed that. "Why would I be upset? Just because I'll be spending Christmas alone because the woman who gave birth to me doesn't care about my existence, doesn't mean I'll be upset!" Aubrey gasped as she processed her own words. "Forget I said that."

"Bree, it's-"

"FORGET I SAID THAT!" The line went quiet but Aubrey could hear her own breathing loud and clear.

"Well, I'll be spending the holidays locked up in my room, probably. The Bellas are all going home over the weekend so it's pretty much an empty house and uhh… You're welcome to come visit if you want."

"I-"

"Like, don't feel like you have to. I mean, I'm probably one of the last people you want to see right now, or ever, but if you feel like coming around and yelling at me you're welcome anytime. So yeah, just think about it."

"Thanks, Bec." Her vision was definitely getting blurrier.  _I should schedule an appointment with the optometrist._

"Don't mention it. Seriously, don't, I have a badass reputation to uphold."

"I won't mention it if you never mention what I said early about 'sucking balls' to anyone else - ever."

"Roger."

* * *

Chloe was a lot of things. Chloe was empathetic, Chloe was easily excited and Chloe was a damn good barista if she did say so herself. Right now, however, Chloe was simply confused. Baffled. Mystified. Nothing made sense and could possibly explain what she was holding in her hands.

Truthfully, she didn't mean to snoop. Cross her heart and hope to die, she didn't make a habit of opening other people's mail. No one had collected the mail that day and the post-box was overflowing when she arrived home, so she brought it all inside. Sifting through the pile to make sure any bills were set aside to be paid later, she came across a small package addressed to 'Reggie Mitchell'. The packaging had been torn in the corners (the careless handling showed that the postman was still clearly holding a grudge from that time Lily had set his motorcycle on fire) and Chloe was extremely curious about what was clearly a CD. Beca rarely bought CDs, preferring to buy HD digital versions since it made mixing a lot easier and she could re-download tracks again whenever she needed them.

Beca's secretive behaviour lately coupled with the mysterious alias on the label was too much for Chloe to handle. After looking around to make sure no one was watching, she tore open the package and gasped. In her hands was a copy of Snoop Dogg's latest Christmas album. A  _signed_ copy.

**To: B.M**

**Sick beats, nice job**

**-Snoop**

Opening the casing and zeroing in on the credits, her suspicions were confirmed. Under the listing for ' _Winter Wonderland / Here Comes Santa Claus (ft. Anna Kendrick)_ ' was _'Additional Producer: Beca Mitchell'._

Someone had a lot of explaining to do.


	5. Not Everyone Remembers Their First Time

Arriving home, Beca frowned when she realised no one had bothered to lock the house. After closing (and securing) the door as quietly as she could in the hopes of not waking any of the Bellas, she turned to see Chloe fast asleep on the couch. Not wanting the girl to freeze to death, she shrugged off her jacket and placed it around her. Noticing something in Chloe's hands, but unable to make out what it was in the darkness, Beca pried the small object out and placed it on the table.

Creeping her way up the staircase (being extra careful to not tread on the creaky 3rd step), she was surprised to find the light still on in her shared room with Amy. _I thought she had some "rabbit dancing" meeting today._ Bracing herself for some of the Australian's intrusive questions, she instead found Emily in her bed reading a thick text that she couldn't see the name of.

"So is you hanging out in my room a thing now?" asked Beca as she set her bags down on the floor near her desk.

"Beca! Oh sorry, umm, Stacie's a bit _busy_ in our room right now. I needed to study but it's cold downstairs, and your room was empty, but I didn't want to touch anything on your desk 'cause it looked important. I hope you don't mind." Beca winced a little. They had assigned Emily Stacie's room since Denise had transferred last year and none of the girls had actually thought about the ramifications. Denise usually ended up in CR's single room one way or another so there were rarely any complaints about the previous arrangement.

"It's cool, feel free to crash over here whenever. Amy hasn't been around much lately anyway, she's probably at Bumper's again."

"Bumper?!" Emily's voice had risen at least an octave.

"Yeah, they're like totally getting it on – she won't admit it though so don't bother bringing it up. She might actually fight you on that." While Legacy had the height, the Australian had a lot of zeal and aggression. Beca would be willing to bet that Emily would get her ass handed back to her in a proper brawl.

"Isn't he a Treblemaker?!"

"Well not anymore, but yeah he used to be one and still lives with them." _I have no idea why the guys even put up with him._

"What about the oath? Are you going to send in the wolves?" Emily's seriously concerned face further fuelled Beca's confusion. Then it dawned on her.

"Wait, did you think th- was that a Bella thing? I totally thought that was just an Aubrey thing. It's fine, Bellas are allowed to mix with Treblemakers. It'd be a bit hypocritical considering I've dated Jesse for over 2 years now." Emily's jaw dropped so far down that Beca was worried that it had come loose.

"You mean I've been avoiding Benji this whole time for no reason?!" That was new information. Beca had occasionally seen their painfully awkward interactions but had just assumed that the freshman held no interest for the aspiring magician.

Taking pity on the girl, Beca suppressed a laugh before explaining, "Yeah, feel free to hang with him if you want to. No one's stopping you."

"Oh my god, I'm so stupid."

Deciding a subject change was in order, Beca gestured towards the book in Emily's hands and asked, "So whatcha reading?"

"Just some stuff for my Intro to Psych class. We're learning about the locus of control right now." Emily lifted the text up to reveal the cover of ' _Psychology: The Science of Mind and Behaviour_ '. "College is a lot more work than it looks like in the movies, that's for sure. What do you study anyway? I've never seen you with any textbooks."

"Philosophy, but I'm minoring in Musicology."

"Huh, I was thinking of taking some philosophy units next year but I wasn't sure how well I'd go with them. It must be a pretty intense subject since you're always coming home late. Do you think I should take something easier?"

"Well, honestly it's not impossibly hard. If you're interested, you should just go for it. I'm sure I still have some old work somewhere on my laptop. I can show you sometime if you want to see what it's all about. I've been busy lately but not with classes. I've uhh, actually been interning at a recording studio." She nervously waited to get lambasted for being selfish and neglecting the Bellas. It never came.

"Oh what! Beca, that's great! Why didn't anyone ever mention that to me? Oh em aca-gee! That's so exciting, have you met any famous artists? Wait you probably can't tell me. What's it like? Have you recorded anything yourself?"

"Woah, woah, slow down there! I haven't recorded anything. They're pretty intense though, they really don't muck around there. We had Snoop Dogg come in a couple weeks back for his Christmas album. And, uhh, no one's mentioned it to you 'cause no one really knows about it yet."

"What? Not even Chloe?"

"Especially Chloe. I was hoping to ease her into it tomorrow or something so if she freaks out it'll be during the Christmas break."

"Oh, for sure. My lips are sealed." Emily mimicked the lip-zipping motion to emphasize her point. "That's so cool though! I wish I was as cool as you."

"Yeah well," Beca awkwardly rubbed her neck at the compliment, "I'm not that great. I wish I could do what you do. The whole writing original stuff. They think my mixes are trash."

"What?! I wished I could do what you do. The way you layer everything together to make something totally different is amazing. If they can't see it, it's their loss." Emily looked genuinely scandalised that someone had the audacity to label Beca's work as anything but amazing.

"Hey, if you're free after winter break. Do you maybe want to collaborate or something?"

"For real?!" Beca nodded. "Of course! Yes, yes, yes! Whenever you're free, I'll make the time." At the mention of the word time both girls froze.

After getting up to lock the door, Beca turned around and asked, "Right, time. Uhh, speaking of which, I'm guessing I wasn't the only one who got to enjoy that riff-off twice?"

"Yes! Oh my god, I can't believe I've finally met someone who goes through it too! It's freaked me out ever since that first time it happened."

"Wait, you remember your first time?"

"Duh! It's super duper hard to forget something like that! April 29th 2012, I was at the beach that Sunday with my mum and got sunburnt twice. It was worse the second time around." _April 29th? That was the day after nationals I think_. Beca had vague recollections of that day since most of it was spent nursing a hangover from the previous night's celebrations.

"Huh, that's weird. I've been getting it my whole life." Emily's eyes widened while Beca frowned in thought.

They exchanged a few stories and theories in hushed tones before a quiet knock came from the door. Beca yawned and stretched before standing up to unlock the door. She came face-to-face with Chloe and unknowingly let out a small smile once she realized the older girl was wearing her jacket.

"Since when do you lock the door?" Chloe's face broke out into a suggestive grin, "Did you need a _hand_ with anything in there?"

Beca sputtered, "Wh-what?! No! Jesus, I wasn't-, nothing's happening in here. Gross." She shook her head and rolled her eyes. As if remembering something, Chloe looked downwards and nervously began to play with the jacket zipper. Concerned about the sudden change in demeanour, Beca fist-bumped her shoulder and asked, "Hey, is everything alright?"

"We're… we're still friends right Becs?" Despite that question being mumbled, Beca heard it loud and clear and took a step back in confusion.

"Yeah dude! Why would you- Where is- Do you actually think I just-" Beca huffed in frustration at her own inability to form complete sentences. It had been happening more often as of late and right now seemed like the worst time for this particular problem to flare up. "Of course we're still friends... Unless you don't want that anymore?" Chloe's head jerked upwards in response to that last questioning statement.

"Oh gods no! I defs still want to be friends!" Beca released the breath she had subconsciously been holding. "It's just, you've been really distant lately and I don't know if it's something I did, or didn't do, but this feels like the start of your freshman year all over again. Back when I only saw you at rehearsals. I miss the old us, when was the last time we hung out without it being an official Bellas thing?"

Beca ran a hand through her hair. She loathed to admit it aloud, but she honestly missed spending time with the Bellas, Chloe especially. She had felt too guilty to even think about spending any recreational time on anything outside the many unfinished commitments on her to-do list. In doing so, however, she forgot that it wasn't a one-way self-imposed restriction. _Ugh, I'm really gonna have to get my shit together._ She knew she wasn't like Aubrey who could just 'plan and delegate' her way through a million tasks. _Wait, plan and delegate?_ Beca filed an idea away for later knowing now was not the time.

"Chloe," came Beca's hoarse response. She cleared her throat before continuing, "Chloe, look at me." Beca was never a big fan of the beach but she'd be lying if she said that the ocean-blue colour staring back at her wasn't one of the most breath-taking things she'd seen. Her gut wrenched knowing she was the cause of all the uncertainty swimming inside those orbs. "You haven't done anything wrong. I've just been my usually cranky self, it's nothing personal. Stuff isn't coming together as smoothly as I would have liked and I've just been trying to deal with things in my own way. I didn't want to bother you with anything."

"You know you can come to me about anything, right? I like knowing what's going on in your life – the good and the bad. Don't you ever dare think that you'd be bothering me." The warm assuredness in Chloe's tone comforted Beca more than the words themselves (they were also great though). A light snore from behind drew their attention towards the third occupant in the room. "Beca, what is Legacy doing in your bed?" The sudden change in tone was something Beca couldn't quite decode.

"Stacie." Chloe's eyebrows rose.

"She's doing Stacie in your bed?"

"Oh god no. I meant, Stacie was _busy_ in their room and she came over here to study in peace." Chloe's eyes softened. "Honestly I'm a little surprised it took this long for something like this to happen, remind me to have a word with her tomorrow." Beca was unable to suppress another yawn.

"Okay, I'm stoked we're still friends and that's good enough for me right now. Don't think this conversation is over just yet but I can tell you really need some sleep so let's take a rain check on it. We've got rehearsals bright and early tomorrow." Catching sight of the clock on Beca's nightstand Chloe amended her statement, "or today I guess."

Beca nodded, finally allowing herself to feel the weight of the day. "Thanks." She debated whether it'd be a better idea to sleep on the couch downstairs or Amy's bed (the last time she opted for the latter she had woken up with crumbs in weird places). Deep in thought, she forgot about her bags on the floor and before it was too late, tripped on one of the straps and slammed her head into her desk.

"BECA!" was the last thing she heard before everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is the last chapter I had saved! Let me know what you guys think so far :)


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